Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy and the Athletic Experience

Does it ever feel like one part of you wants one thing, while another part wants the exact opposite? Maybe one part of you is driven to succeed, while another feels exhausted and overwhelmed. For athletes especially, this kind of internal conflict can feel like a daily battle. One part pushes for perfection and peak performance, while another fears failure, burnout, or letting others down.

What if I told you that you are not alone in feeling this way? In fact, most people experience these inner conflicts every day. Understanding these different “parts” of ourselves is at the foundation of Richard Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy.

IFS Background

IFS is a form of mindfulness and somatic therapy that helps people better understand the different “parts” of themselves, each carrying its own unique story, purpose, and emotions. According to Schwartz, these parts generally fall into three categories: managers, firefighters, and exiles.

“Managers” are the proactive parts of ourselves responsible for helping us stay organized, productive, and in control of our daily lives. “Firefighters” are the reactive parts that rush in when emotional pain surfaces, trying to put out the fire as quickly as possible. While these parts are often trying to protect us, they can sometimes create more problems than they solve, especially when shaped by painful childhood experiences, trauma, or fear.

The third category, “exiles,” consists of the wounded parts of ourselves that carry pain, shame, fear, or guilt. These are the parts that managers and firefighters try so hard to protect us from revisiting.

Unlike therapies that focus on labeling thoughts or behaviors as “wrong” or “distorted,” IFS encourages curiosity and compassion toward these different parts. Rather than fighting against ourselves, the goal is to better understand why these parts developed in the first place and help them take on healthier roles. Through this process, people can begin to heal old wounds through the energy of the “Self,” the innate core within us that offers healing and unburdening qualities. Through this, exiles can begin to heal, and people can move toward becoming a more balanced and authentic version of themselves.

My Athletic History

With this background on IFS and its focus, how can it apply to athletes? Let me begin by sharing some of my own experiences. As a student-athlete throughout my academic life, I was largely unaware of the stories different parts of me were carrying, and how those parts were often influencing — and at times limiting — my experience in both competition and practice.

Now, as a Level 3-trained IFS practitioner, I can more clearly recognize the roles these parts were playing. I remember countless mornings in college as a swimmer waking up for practice at 5 a.m. One part of me wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, while another knew that skipping practice would bring consequences and hinder my progress in the sport.

That same dynamic carried over into competition. During some meets, the part of me that longed for rest would much rather have been relaxing in my dorm room or stretched out on my apartment couch than racing a 1000-yard freestyle, followed by a 500-yard freestyle, all while hoping my coach would not also place me in the 800 freestyle relay. Yet the same part that pulled me out of bed each morning also pushed me to race with relentless intensity, driven by a fear of letting the team down or feeling that the season would be wasted if I did not perform at my absolute best.

Looking back, I can now see the polarized relationship between what I would later understand as a firefighter part and an inner critic. One sought relief, rest, and peace; the other demanded achievement, discipline, and performance. It was not until years later, through my own IFS training and polarization work, that I realized both parts ultimately wanted the same thing: for me to feel happy and fulfilled.

That realization became a pivotal moment in both my personal healing and my work as a practitioner. Through my own experience, I learned that even the parts of us that appear to be in deepest conflict are often working toward the same underlying goal, despite expressing it in radically different ways.

IFS and Athletes

My own experience involved two polarized parts that often left me feeling conflicted and “stuck in the middle.” For many athletes, this internal conflict is familiar, though the specific stories behind it may differ.

For some athletes, a part of them fears failure and the internal and external consequences attached to it. Others may have a part that believes competing is their responsibility or what they are supposed to do, and that not performing or competing will bring consequences of its own. There are also athletes whose parts fear success itself and the pressure, expectations, and responsibility that can come with remaining “on top” or being viewed as “the best.”

Rather than labeling these thoughts as wrong, distorted, or illogical, as some forms of therapy may do, IFS seeks to understand the story behind the part carrying those beliefs. In many cases, learning that a thought or belief is irrational and developing coping skills can absolutely be helpful, especially for athletes. However, if the parts carrying those fears and beliefs are never truly witnessed or unburdened, athletes may still find themselves stepping onto the block, field, or court carrying the same emotional weight, even with new insights and strategies.

IFS therapy helps athletes approach these parts with curiosity and compassion instead of judgment. This can be especially meaningful for athletes who may already experience criticism or pressure within their sport. As athletes develop greater clarity around why these parts exist and the roles they have been trying to play, they are often able to move forward with greater confidence, connection, and self-understanding — both as competitors and as people.

Conclusion

The process of IFS therapy and learning from our different parts is not linear. Every person has a unique internal system made up of parts with different voices, intentions, emotions, sensations, and personalities.

In my practice, my goal is not for someone to immediately distinguish firefighters from managers or to worry about whether they are “doing it right.” The first step in IFS work is simply learning to listen to the different parts of yourself. Once that process begins, those parts often begin revealing what they need.

This work takes time, consistency, and patience. And when frustration inevitably arises, I often encourage people to respond to that frustrated part with one simple phrase: “I get that.”

Throughout the process, I encourage athletes to check in with their parts daily as those parts begin taking on new roles and ways of responding. Over time, as these parts feel more seen, understood, and validated, athletes often begin to train, compete, and live with less internal burden and more Self energy guiding them toward their goals.